I’m Sorry— I HATE Father’s Day!

I’m Sorry— I HATE Father’s Day!

Open Letter—
Sharing this letter to the world was not an easy decision, but I’m sure it will help those in my life understand why my reactions to certain incidents in my life are the way it is. As you read, please remember that the contents of this letter are my personal feelings and my truth!
Every year after Mother’s Day my anxiety begins…… the one day of the year I dread is approaching. It’s been this way since my 7th-grade year. That’s the year when I finally realized that my relationship with my father went from “Daddy’s little girl” to “the little girl without a daddy.” Growing up holidays were always a big deal for us. We would plan for months what we would do to celebrate Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. All of that stopped when my parents divorced.
My idea of divorce was I would spend half the time with my mom and the other half with my dad. That didn’t sound so bad right?? Unfortunately, that wasn’t my reality. Truth be told when my father divorced my mother he divorced his children.
For years I was angry. I didn’t understand the transition my life went through and to be honest I was criticized for being angry by family constantly. It was as if my feelings were never taken into consideration about how I was living daily WITHOUT the love of my father. It’s funny because they only looked at the situation through their lens and opinions, no one sat down to ask me how I felt. They also didn’t live my truth.
To me, this day is a constant reminder of the void I have in my life. Although there are several amazing father figures in my life, nothing will ever replace the ideal relationship I yearned from my birth father.
My feelings for this day use to be a little bearable before social media. Scrolling through Instagram and Facebook watching everyone post their fathers seems like a slap in my face.
I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but that’s my truth. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous.
This day is a constant reminder of how I had to be very strong at a young age and learn how to maneuver through life without a father.
This day is a constant reminder that for years I guarded myself against men. I didn’t trust them in any relationship (romantic or business) because I thought that at any time they could get up, leave and I would be stuck with some burden. It’s why I am extremely guarded about doing business with men
This day is a constant reminder that the one person (my brother) who played the father role in my life is no longer alive.
Father’s Day brings so many bad memories for me. And I know what you all may be thinking…. You have a daughter with an amazing father. I do, and I am very thankful that Ryann gets everything that I didn’t from her dad. However, that still doesn’t fill my emptiness as a daughter.
Although I HATE Father’s Day and I’m sure with constant prayer and faith one day my feelings will change about Father’s Day, I do wish all the Fathers a very special day!
On this day, please pray for the children that may not have their fathers in their life. Pray for their strength and greatness. Pray that they can get through this day and future holidays without negative thoughts.
Dr. Tammira Lucas
Tammira Lucas, MBA
Written by Tammira Lucas, MBA

The 2015 Small Business Innovator by Baltimore City Chamber of Commerce, Tammira Lucas is a Mompreneur who is quickly emerging as a trailblazer among professionals and a powerful voice for women teaching them Business, Balance and Babies. Tammira is the CEO The Business Dr. Consulting Firm, CO-Founder of Moms As Entrepreneurs, Author, Speaker, Philanthropist and Professor. Tammira has been featured on Forbes Top 10 Entrepreneurial Websites for Women, and 10 Best Career Sites for Women. The BOSS Network and Jet Magazine. As a mom, wife, and entrepreneur Tammira loves to help women/ moms jump hurdles to success while learning the art of balance, business and babies. Tammira has also been recognized by 92Q as one of 2014 Baltimore’s Top 30 Under 30 and Baltimore’s Fab list.

1 Comment responses

  1. Avatar
    June 18, 2018

    I too grew up with my father and this day brings slightly a negative emotion. However, I have grown to appreciate his absence as it has made me the woman I am today. I have also lost relationships with men who had stepped into the gap. I always thought that if my father had been around men in my past wouldn’t have treated me that way because of the “Bad Boy” picture I had painted in my mind. My father showing up at the door with his best friend and a gun to protect me. However, what I’ve learned is my Heavenly Father has has been there protecting me and saving me from cruelties of the world. And for that alone I’ve had to let the pain of my earthly father go. I’m his absence I’ve found the Lord and how he’s been my protector all along. Love you 😘

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