Happy New Year Everyone!
I can’t believe it’s 2018 already. Like where the heck did 2017 go [insert thinking emoji].
2017 for me was actually a blur and today I am going to take my Aunty Oprahs’ advice and SPEAK MY TRUTH!
My 2017 truth begins with depression. For those that have been following me via my blog or social media knows that I have been pursuing my Doctorate for the last 4 years. The journey of pursuing this degree was the root of my depression in 2017. The program I am enrolled in is technically a 2 year program. I was supposed to be done YEARS ago. In 2016 I realized that I was being put through an unethical process that I refuse to allow to go on any further and I finally spoke up. Well, me speaking up led to more unethical behaviors which caused me to be between a rock (quitting) or hard place (keep going). This decision had me in a deep depression that I only spoke about to my two mentors. I put part of my consulting business on hold to finish this degree, and I wasn’t getting anywhere. This process was impacting EVERY part of my life in what I felt like was a negative way. For the first quarter of the year, I literally was waking up just to “make it” through the day. Whatever got done did, and whatever didn’t I said “o well.” It hurts when you know you are doing everything that is asked of you and still get nowhere. I had to decide on whether this was even worth the journey. What made this decision so overwhelming was that whatever decision I made was not only going to impact me but also impact my family and my clients. Over the last few years I have had so many naysayers telling me what I “can’t” do, and at this point in 2017, I begin to believe them. No matter how I felt, one thing I ensured I did was pray! I prayed so hard some nights that I would be in super tears. Just like always (and as you read more of this will happen) God showed up and allowed me to Speak my Truth to the right person that put an end to the unethical behaviors. I am happy to say that I am just about done and will be a Doctor in 2018.
At this point in 2017, I was hoping that life would be normal for me now. I quickly realize that my “normal” life involves chaos and I just need to accept it.
Now don’t get me wrong I had some super wins in 2017. Ironically 2017 was my most successful year as an entrepreneur. But it was still something missing. I wanted to produce better content and finally build my tribe. For some reason, the content wasn’t coming to me. My brain was being consumed by “doubt.” Believe it, The Business Dr. had doubt. I thought that my blogs had to be in a certain format or my social media needed to be a certain way. The reality is I was over thinking the process and not allowing it to flow abundantly like it I did when I first started. I was paying more attention to the critics versus not giving a damn and doing what I love! So in 2018 expect more content from me MY WAY! It’s not going to be fancy and everything color coordinated…. blah blah blah. It’s going to be whatever I want it to be at that time. I can’t believe I subjected myself to what “society” thinks is great versus what I think is great. I preach about this all the time, how could I not live by it [insert eye-rolling emoji].
Between school and business, you would think that would be enough right? Well no I had family issues I was dealing with as well, along with people just trying my patience in 2017. For some reason, I was put to every test you could think of. The one person that got me through it all is God! I can honestly say that I prayed more in 2017 than I ever did in my life. I got closer to God, and I allow him to lead me through every trial and tribulation.
I also was tested with hatred and people genuinely not wanting me to succeed. I removed myself from all of those people. It’s draining to constantly get beat up by people words and actions. I am a person that will give you the shirt off my back and help anyone without looking for something in return, and I was truly annoyed by people using and abusing my kindness. I refuse to allow that to happen in 2018.
On top of all the feelings and drama going on with me in 2017, my life was packed with work, conferences, travel, events, teaching, learning, board meetings, meetings, leadership trainings, family, friends and everything in between. Thank God for helping me managed it all. I woke up every day and asked him what do we have on our agenda and he worked it all out.
In 2017 I also struggled with EVERYONE needing me or my attention. If I had a dollar for every phone call, text message, email, Facebook message, and an Instagram message that I received about someone wanting to “PICK MY BRAIN’ or “Meet with me” for their personal gain, I would be Diddy rich! By the middle of the year, I completely shut everyone out because it was taking to much of me. I needed me, and for the first time in my life, I focused on myself. Did I feel guilty in the process? Absolutely, but I had to remember if I am not healthy there is no way I can begin to help anyone. Focusing on me is my number one priority in 2018.
I wanted to share this story because so often I feel like there is someone who needs to hear that it’s ok to speak your truth. It’s ok not to be perfect in everyone eyes. Me personally, I felt like everyone look at my husband and myself and think that we think we are perfect. At no point in my life have I ever thought I was perfect. I am pretty confident but I am human, and I have the same characteristics of every other human. I also felt like people didn’t understand what we had to go through just to get the simple things in life or piece of the “American dream” and used us for their gains. Although it pissed me off that people did this, I know that I am blessed, and God ensured to show me that several times throughout the year.
The end of the year ended in what I believe was God showing me what really is important in life. On December 14th I received a call that my 25-year-old sister was admitted to ICU after having surgery the day before. She went into Septic Shock. My sister was on life support. I had my final two weeks of 2017 planned perfectly. It definitely did not consist me crying my eyes out and praying that he gives me one more chance to hug, kiss and laugh with my sister. Despite our differences in 2017, she is still my sister. My siblings are my other children. I would literally kill someone over them. To see my sister like this was unbelievable. But yet again faith and prayer got me through. I can’t say that mentally I am where I should be after dealing with this trauma. What I will say has God revealed so many things to me that will get me so far in life. Sometimes it takes situations like this to move you forward in life.
It amazes me that people will look in on your life and make all of these assumptions. Read this clearly: I Tammira Lucas have bad days just like everyone else, my family is not perfect, we work extremely hard, and we love extremely hard. I urge whoever is reading this to live your life your way, run your business your way, and just like my 2018 theme LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE.
More greatness to come in 2018
The Business Dr.